Quarantine Cop List: Numero Cinco
A contested election, rising cases, and a total lack of a clear plan from leadership have us once again under a ‘stay at home order in California. While this homebody isn’t complaining about having to order takeout every night, we’ve all had more than our fair shares of stress and anxiety this year, and unfortunately, it seems like the holidays aren’t going to be the much-needed reset we’re all accustomed to. As such, Santa Jon has decided you’ve all been excellent boys and girls this year…and deserve another Quarantine Cop List filled with dope shit to treat yourself with.
Although this is definitely polarizing to many bud loyalists, there has been a rise in the number of players targeting the ‘ready to roll’ pre-ground space right now, and frankly, I’m here for it. While we all love the convenience of things like prerolls, there’s been a negative connotation around shake packs. Let me just go on record as saying that’s silly. Sure, some brands have made their space pushing low-end outdoor products in this style, and yeah, there’s going to be some leaves and stems to remove. But newcomer ‘Screaming Trumpets’ have seriously stepped up the experience. Dropping 10g tins that include papers and matches, the quality of this pre-ground stands significantly above the others targeting this space right now, and frankly, they are just so damn convenient. For those like me that always prefer to roll their own (not hating, prerolls!) there simply isn’t an easier way to roll on the go.
I know we’re just about done with Hanukkah, but I would be remiss if I left this bad boy off the list. If you’re celebrating the festival of lights (or did), Grav’s Menorah bong is a must-add to your holiday collection. This 8-bowl bubbler has an amazing function regardless of whether or not you’re one of the chosen people, and while it’s a great way to celebrate…it’s also a macrodoser’s dream way to get high! If you’re true to the spirit like me, you’ll pack up one extra bowl a day so it’s almost like a training device. By the eighth day, you’re ready to smoke out the whole pipe!
Jam Master Jays
Not going to lie, I haven’t had a chance to try this product yet, but boy am I excited that it exists. As a New Yorker, anything Run DMC immediately gets me hyped. But what they’ve done to break the Jam Master Jay name into cannabis is nothing short of legendary. The first product, Jam Master Jays, while not only brilliantly named, has, in my opinion, the best packaging we’ve seen yet in this space. Fashioned to look JUST like a cassette tape from back in the day, this four-joint pack holds 2 grams of premium flower—and though I haven’t tried it, word on the street is that these things HIT. Available exclusively through Cookies right now (although they quickly sell out whenever they drop), this brand has me so hyped I’m actually going to go wait in line to buy weed—that may actually sell out before my turn, no less!
Crip A Cola & Blood Pop
As a big RTJ fan, earlier this year when Netflix released Trigger Warning with Killer Mike, of course, I was quick to tune in. While the series itself was aces (if you haven’t yet, watch it!) one episode in particular really resonated with my soda junkie self, and that was the Bloods & Crips episode. In an effort to legitimize the culture and provide meaningful infrastructure to the long-running organizations, Killer Mike helped local chapters of the Bloods and Crips gangs to set up rival soda companies to truly take their brands to the streets. Now, while I’m an Exotic Pop fan, to begin with, I can’t understate how good these products are—and how much better they are for you compared to the big players in the space.
Redline Reserve Rock Star
One of the latest drops from Dr. Greenthumb’s own Redline Reserve, Rock Star is sure to be a crowd-pleaser. Bred by crossing OG Kush with OZK, Ray Rice, and Blueberry, this potent strain is a bit of a mutt that will not only leave your head in the clouds, but the taste will surely linger on your tongue. This is especially important for those of us that like consuming tobacco wraps, as backwoods especially have a tendency to drown out the taste of your buds. Have no fear, as Redline Reserve is here to make sure your blunt is filled with dank you can taste as much as you will feel. Graced with BReal front and center on the mylar, I’ve got a feeling these bags are going to be making their way around the country before long…
Edie Parker Vape Line
I haven’t been much of a vape guy lately, but the new Edie Parker vape line has certainly been changing that for me. Since receiving their new line, each strain of which mixes CBD and THC to find the perfect buzz, I’ve been pretty hooked on these things. Available in cultivars labeled by the time of day instead of strain name, these Early Bird, Happiest Hour, and Nightcap titles are true to their names. I’m not usually one for ‘mood titles’, but the Early Bird has actually been my first hit of the morning the past few weeks, and the Nightcap truly puts me down in the evenings, so while I can pretend to complain that I don’t know the actual strains included in the pen, this is probably more helpful in the long run.
Like a breath mint for your mind. If you’re not familiar with Click Spray yet, allow me to put you on. These little triangular tubes are a fast-acting mouth spray that hits you with a microdose of cannabinoids that you will feel almost instantly. Available across 4 lines (Go, Restore, Chill, and Dream), the first thing you’ll notice about this product is that (especially for a sublingual) they’re surprisingly delicious. The second thing you’ll notice is the impact. Honestly, I rarely feel anything under 5 mg, but after a few clicks of this, you will definitely notice a difference. Further, I’m not sure this is something the brand can actually claim, but for those of us that aren’t phased by microdoses know this: cracking open one of these guys and chugging will couch lock you for SURE.